A Retired Rector's Reflections

On 17th October the MP for mid-Buckinghamshire, Mr Greg Smith, raised an interesting question in the House of Commons. He asked if the Church of England could do more to recognise the hard work done by clergy who were retiring. He gave an example of a priest retiring in his constituency.

The question struck a chord with me, and led me to reflect on the question and the sadness of the fact that it needed to be asked, for, of course, behind it was the implication that not enough was being done.

When I served in Manchester Diocese a vicar who had done incredible self sacrifical work for many years retired through ill health. His parishioners were very sorry to learn of the retirement. However, the priest told me, no bishop, or senior member of staff in the Diocese made contact in the time of illness, and at the time of retirement none contacted to say thank you or to send good wishes. Two years later when I called to see how things were going I was reminded by the priest of that lack of any contact on retirement. The hurt of the lack of care remained.

When I retired the parish schools gave me a moving good bye, the parish were lovely and gave me an unforgetable, and indeed generous farewell. The Bishop of Manchester arranged a half hour chat by zoom with me and thanked me. However, neither the local bishop, the archdeacon nor the full time area dean contacted me in any way – no email, no card, no phone call, nothing to wish me and my family well, or to send assurance of prayer and good wishes. It hurt. It still hurts. On reflection I say their lack of action shames them.

I have heard many similar stories from clergy in Manchester and indeed in some other dioceses. Covid days were very telling. One priest told how his deanery clergy were asking ‘Where the hell are our Bishops in this? Nowhere to be seen.’ His strong words showed the anger and upset felt at the lack of pastoral care. It was, it is, sad.

The Church of England is in difficult days as attendance continues to drop significantly, and as serious internal problems and disputes lead to questioning of the church’s integrity and competence. Despite this many parish clergy do heroic and self sacrificial work, sometimes in difficult deprived areas. Their parishioners so often love and support them. Mine certainly did. Is it too much to expect bishops, archdeacons and area deans to say ‘Thank You’ and to show their thanks in acts of kindness and pastoral care for clergy? Some of course do show care, but for many, it is not a priority. Their actions, or rather lack of actions, speak louder than words.

I suggested to an archdeacon that a small token gift, flowers, say, or chocolates, would be appropriate to a member of the clergy along with an apology which was being sent. I commented ‘Just as in a family we may ‘say it with flowers.” The reply I received stunned me: “Having consulted with the Diocesan Secretary, I’m sorry but we are not able to consider a token gift – this would not be in line with our policies or charitable objects.” Why couldn’t that Archdeacon dig into their pocket, as many parish clergy would, and buy a box of chocolates? But there we have it, at least in that diocese such kindness is not diocesan policy.

When I moved into my first parish in Durham Diocese the suffragan bishop called unannounced at the Rectory with a jar of homemade marmalade. Years later, knowing I was retiring, a child from one of the parish schools, and her mother, called at church with a cake they had baked, to say thank you. These little acts of kindness, experienced by many clergy in parishes, mean a lot to clergy. I hope that local bishops, area deans and archdeacons might learn from such small acts to do similar acts of unexpected kindness. Such acts are, I believe, signs of good pastoral care.