A Retired Rector's Reflections

“As Jesus followers we’re called to be kind and forgiving to one another. On #WorldKindnessDay, let us be inspired to embody kindness in all we do. A small act can help transform a person’s day and the world around us.” The Archbishop of York, Stephen Cottrell, posted these words, with the image above, on X (Twitter) on November 13th. The day before he had posted his response to the Archbishop of Canterbury’s belated resignation.

Few people would disagree with this. However, in much that is being revealed about the action of senior people in relation to recent abuse scandals, not least the horrific Smyth issues, there seems avery sad lack of kindness by some bishops and others.

‘We’re called to be kind” Of course it is any christian’s duty to be kind, and bishop’s should lead in this. But – Was it kind to promise to meet survivors of Smyth’s abuse, but then take four years to arrange an appointment? Was it kind not to follow up reporting of Smyth’s abuse to South African authorities? Is it kind to fail to respond to survivors’ pleas for help? Is it kind to disband a system of care for survivors and still, after months of months, not replace it and so leave survivors in limbo? In my own, small, case, from Manchester Diocese, was it kind for an official to be abusive to a person making a complaint about safeguarding?

I hope we can answer “No” to all those questions. In the past and current crisis in the Church of England, amongst all the bureaucratic letter writing, statements, hand wringing, head shaking there is a disappointing lack of kindness from many bishops and others. Lots of public statements have been issued. But have hand written cards been sent to victims by bishops saying something like ‘I am sorry that recent events will bring up many painful memories for you, please know I am thinking and praying for you.’ Have visits been made to the suffering? I don’t know the answer to that but I feel I could name some bishops who would never think of such a kind act.

In one diocese in which I worked the diocesan bishop sent a birthday card, with a hand written message, and a small cheque inside to clergy on their birthday. A simple and appreciated act of kindness. In conversation I thanked him for it. He replied ‘The pleasure is mine, I say a prayer for each person as I write the card, and find it one of the most fulfilling things I do as a bishop.’ I’ve not heard of other bishops doing this, perhaps some do, I suspect many do nothing like this. Now is very much a time for personal acts of kindess from bishops to victims, and this isn’t pre-printed stuff – it’s about personal acts.

We are called to be kind. Naturally we do not do as well as we would wish. In this lay people and clergy, look to their bishops to be leaders in kindess. My suggestion is that the image the Archbishop posted be framed and placed on each bishop’s desk, so that bishops be encouraged to consider how they can ’embody kindness in all they do.’ This could be a small step to the much needed culture change in the episcopacy and senior management of the Church of England.