As I was retiring from parish ministry a friend and worshipper at the church gave me a copy of a book titled 101 Things To Do During a Dull Sermon. I couldn’t help thinking that perhaps I was being given this as my friend no longer needed it as I would not be preaching at the Church! Or maybe it was acknowledging that I would be hearing more sermons in reirement and so I should be prepared to hear dull sermons too.
Whatever, its a fun book. I’d never dare try out some of the ideas, but some are tempting. Number 48 made me smile “Shout out ‘AMEN’ at the conclusion of an uninspiring sentence. Wait and see if anyone else joins in, or if the sermon becomes more interesting”
William Brown (the wonderful creation of Richmal Crompton) also had the problem of what to do during boring sermons. The Browns regularly attended Sunday worship, which for them usually took the form of Matins with the Litany. On one occasion, Roderick, William’s pet rat, escaped while the vicar was ‘saying the Litany,’ Ethel, William’s sister screamed, and during the ensuing hiatus a choirboy managed to catch Roderick.
On another occasion William and one of the choir boys have a face pulling competition which attracts much attention during the sermon. The curate of the church was known for his boring sermons so William decide to stare unflinchingly straight at the curate. After a while the preacher became rather uncomfortable, lost his thread, shook and stammered and finally drew to a halt.
I’m yet to try the suggestions in the book I received, or follow William’s lead. However, I am always pleased to attend a church with a hymn board. I know if the sermon is tedious I can then add up all the numbers, or work out which are prime numbers, or how many products each number has.
Have you a suggestion as to what to do in a boring sermon?
Feel free to share in the comments below.
A Retired Rector's Reflections 
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